1. Excuses. The older sibling needs a poop diaper changed?... shucks, I have to go feed the baby. My mother in law just showed up unexpectedly?... I'll be in the back room feeding the baby. The house is a mess and needs to be cleaned immediately?... Well I would, but I need to go sit on my ass for 20 minutes to feed the baby.
2. Big boobs. I mean, it's cool to have some killer cleavage for a year of breastfeeding, but for me it's even funnier to look down and realize that your boob is bigger than the head that's sucking on it.
Of course that's nothing new for this lady.
3. You finally have something to shoot at your husband. Not that your husband is just squirting HIS "stuff" all over you whenever he walks past or anything (unless you guys are into that sort of thing), but it's inevitable that you have to handle it at some point whether you're trying to make babies or prevent them. And I'm sure I'm not alone in that it's not my favorite stuff in the world. So if you find yourself 1 week post-partum and you're exhausted from having this baby connected to you literally 12 hours a day and your nipples look like fresh ground beef and your husband is sitting there admiring this beautiful baby but seemingly oblivious to the fact that between his snores vibrating the bed last night and the baby's neverending cycle of crying, eating and pooping punctuated by 2 minutes of sleep, if he then says "So what's for dinner tonight hon?", rest assured you will not be judged by me if you pop him with a stream in his eye. I will also not judge you if you do it just for the hell of it because it's hilarious. Even if you only do it once, there's something so satisfying. Take THAT, POP.
4. BM b.m.'s smell better. I've had a formula baby and a boobie baby, and breastmilk poop is like fresh baked cookies in comparison. Or maybe that's just me.
5. Parkinson's baby. I can't tell you how flattering it is when someone gets SO excited to be near your naked boob that they get the shakes. Although maybe I'd get this reaction if I was willing to expose my boob to more people, but babies don't judge so I'll stick to exposing myself to them only. (I am not a perv.)
5. Parkinson's baby. I can't tell you how flattering it is when someone gets SO excited to be near your naked boob that they get the shakes. Although maybe I'd get this reaction if I was willing to expose my boob to more people, but babies don't judge so I'll stick to exposing myself to them only. (I am not a perv.)
Michael J. Fox is always excited for boobies. Because of Parkinson's.
6. The best reason. Period. This isn't a very unconventional reason at all actually, but I just want to reiterate how. friggin. awesome. it is to not have ANY period for OVER a year. Just imagine the first 9 months of growing a baby and no worrying about putting anything absorbant near your nethers, then double that and subtract the pain of actually growing a baby. It's like Heaven.
