- Tell children to watch the candy being dropped in their bag and to try to remember who gave them what. Or children can take the candy themselves, helping them to better remember who gave them a certain treat.
- One Michigan woman is putting address labels on candy so that parents know which neighbor the candy came from.
- Watch for signs of tampering, such as small pinholes in wrappers and torn or loose packages.
- To completely avoid any loose costume material catching fire or snagging on fences, dip your child in a tub of latex paint and let them go as a naked hotdog
- Before letting your infant crawl to the neighbor's house across the street, purchase and apply tiny kneepads
- Have children ask to see adults take a bite of the candy they're handing out to be sure it is not poisoned
- To prevent falls on your property, load candy into shotgun and shoot it at children as they walk by on the public sidewalk
- While driving on Halloween night, be mindful of excited trick-or-treaters darting out into the road. Keep your headlights turned off so as not to distract children while crossing the street. If possible, drive extremely fast to your destination to decrease your time on the road and your chance of hitting someone
- Discard of homemade trick-or-treat goodies immediately. Also do not accept candy from white men in vans, people in sweatpants, old men named Herbert, gingers, African Americans, Hispanics, Chuck Testa, or anyone with a carved pumpkin on their front porch.
- Do not trust your child to stay in well-lit areas, or to be capable of holding on to a flashlight. Have your child swallow radioactive material so they will glow wherever they go.
- The easiest way to stay safe on Halloween is to take all Halloween activities out of the equation. Lock yourself in your house with a bowl of applesauce and watch re-runs of Storage Wars.
Almost naked hot dogs.