Wednesday, October 5, 2011

There's another man in my life

His name is John John. 

He's Violet's imaginary friend.

And he fucking creeps me out.

Our first introduction to "him" was in July, right after Joe and I had watched a scary movie in the past week, and Violet's all pointing to the doorway in our bedroom and talking to it like they used to be best friends but haven't seen each other in a while.  WTF.  Anyway, so then a few weeks later, he's in our living room by a doorway again.  She's telling me where he is and then walking over to him and handing him stuff.  They even played flashcards!  Which is cool with me if this weirdo ghost guy wants to keep Violet up on her letter sounds (though he seemed to kinda suck, because she kept saying "What's dis?.... noooooooo!"  It's obviously a Q idiot.  Anyway.)  For a while she was seeing him everywhere, and even though he's not real I felt violated.  Why is this imaginary MAN in my house alone with me and my two daughters, playing with one of them?  And not helping clean some dishes or something at least?

She forgot about him for a while, or maybe he was out of town, I dunno.  But then he came back, and now his name is John John!  (Oh, maybe he was an illegal immigrant and he was away trying to get his papers in order?)  The weird thing is, Violet has NEVER named anything.  Any time I ask her "What's its name?" she repeats back to me "What's its name?!" with her little over-inflected voice.  The closest she's come is when I was "helping" her name her My Little Ponies the other day, and I named one Purple Nurple and she changed it to Purple Durple (one of them is also named Dave - for some reason that makes me laugh).  So on one hand, that's kinda cool that she maybe has hit some Gives Play Objects Names milestone by giving this "him" a real human name.  But on the other hand, what if he gave himself that name?  And just now told her because he was tired of hearing me ask what his name is all the time?  All the what-ifs that come with this John John fella are just too much for me (What if he's sitting on my lap and laughing while I poop?!  Because that's what I'd do if I was a ghost.)

So, I dunno.  This guy needs to get out or start contributing to the bills.  I don't think he eats anything, except maybe souls, but he's probably walking around turning lights on and off all the time when we're sleeping, so ghost better gimme my money!

1 comment:

  1. AHHH! You kill me. This is hilariously creepy because I've had my own doo-dee-doo-dee moments.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...