(Background: I drive a forklift at Costco on the weekends.)
So this morning, I'm at work, and I noticed I was getting some merchandise in. I wanted to ask my manager if it was going to be a whole shit-ton of pallets like last weekend, so I wanted to use a big number, like 85 million. When I was asking him though, my brain just ceased all function, and I just said the digits.
"Are we getting 8... 5..."
I couldn't figure out how to recover from this obvious clutterfuck of a "sentence", so I didn't even try. I just stopped and drove away. I glanced back at him as I was driving away and he had a very obvious look of wtf-just-happened smeared across his face.
The only other time I can remember feeling like such a complete and utter moron is when I was at my post-partum check up after Leela. My midwife asked how everything was, and I replied, "It's all good,..." Then as I said it I guess I kind of realized I was surrounded by pictures and 3D models of vaginas, and felt it appropriate to finish my sentence up with "... it's all good in the clitoral hood."
WHY AM I ALLOWED IN PUBLIC PLACES?
P.S. For those of you who don't know SAP, here and you're welcome.