Saturday, November 12, 2011

I am Socially Awkward Penguin

My apologies to anyone who has already heard today's story of social retardation. I've been telling it to everyone to hear a few laughs to help lessen the pain of embarassment.

(Background: I drive a forklift at Costco on the weekends.)

So this morning, I'm at work, and I noticed I was getting some merchandise in.  I wanted to ask my manager if it was going to be a whole shit-ton of pallets like last weekend, so I wanted to use a big number, like 85 million.  When I was asking him though, my brain just ceased all function, and I just said the digits. 

"Are we getting 8... 5..."

I couldn't figure out how to recover from this obvious clutterfuck of a "sentence", so I didn't even try.  I just stopped and drove away.  I glanced back at him as I was driving away and he had a very obvious look of wtf-just-happened smeared across his face.

The only other time I can remember feeling like such a complete and utter moron is when I was at my post-partum check up after Leela.  My midwife asked how everything was, and I replied, "It's all good,..."  Then as I said it I guess I kind of realized I was surrounded by pictures and 3D models of vaginas, and felt it appropriate to finish my sentence up with "... it's all good in the clitoral hood."


P.S.  For those of you who don't know SAP, here and you're welcome.


  1. I just love that you rock a forklift. You dont need to be able to hold a conversation, your forklift driving makes you badass and cool. I have been hanging out with these dudes WAY too long!

  2. You're right, I do look pretty badass driving around with my hair blowing in the forklift wind!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...