Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dreamquote Chronicles

I've been stuck in the house mostly for the past 5 days or so because of a lovely stomach bug going around the house.  I'd love to go on about all the different consistencies and smells of poop I encountered this weekend, but no one else wants to hear about it (right?) so I'll spare you (unless you want to know!).  So since I haven't been experiencing real life, I don't really have anything to talk about, but I also don't feel like sleeping yet.

So here's Joe's Dreamquotes of the night so far:

"It's a spider... GET OUT FAGGOT" as he's flicking a lint ball on his pillow

"No that's a waffle.  WET! DOG!"

Well I was already aware that Joe hates spiders.  But he's a total fag hag so I'm kind of surprised he'd be using the word "faggot" in a negative way.  Or maybe there was a guy there named Faggot who is allergic to spiders and Joe was trying to save his life!  Actually, can you believe that people aren't naming their kid that yet?  With all the awful names out there??  Five dollars says some MTV Teen Mom is going to name her kid Fayget within the next 2 seasons.

As far as the waffle and the wet dog, I can't even imagine what's going on there.  I wonder what someone has mistaken for a waffle.  Hmmm, let's see, waffle-like things... the bottom of a shoe, legos, a beehive, my bare ass sitting on a lattice lawn chair... pancakes are round breakfast food, so waffle-life I guess.  I dunno, I'm completely stumped on this one.  I guess he was just worried about a wet dog shaking off and soggying up his waffle that looks like something besides a waffle.  Which I can't blame him for, but it seems like such a specific and odd thing to dream about. 

The sad part is I'll never know because Joe rarely remembers his dreams when I tell him about them the next morning.  Which seems so weird to me because I remember most of my dreams really clearly.  Last night I hulked out on some kitchen cabinets and lifted them OFF THE WALL because somehow my friend dropped her baby underneath them and couldn't reach her, and there was another about babysitting a tiny Fred Savage in my apartment with the cast of How I Met Your Mother.  Hmm, I guess I shouldn't be judging Joe's dreams as specific and odd.

Well, I've officially bored myself.  Time to give in to my droopy eyes I suppose.

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