Monday, August 22, 2011

Put down my iPhone? Maybe.

Joe's probably gonna be pissed that I'm sharing our patheticness with the public, but a blog wouldn't be very much fun if I withheld personal information (like how the only thing I like about wearing socks is pulling the sock fuzzies from between my toes).  So, due to the recent combination of mismanaged funds and the fact that we just don't make enough fucking money anyway, Joe and I recently lived more than a week on $30.  Then we got paid, yay!  And now we're back to nothing again, hooray bills.  In the meantime, I stopped paying my cell phone bill because I was tired of being raped by my iPhone every month, and now I've gone a whole week without ANY phone.

It's been quite the adjustment because I've never gone without ANY phone since high school, and I haven't gone without a smart phone in maybe 4 years.  I used to always be the type who said I didn't need a phone except to make occasional calls on-the-go... then I discovered texting and realized I couldn't live without that either.  The great thing about texting is you don't have to have a full conversation at once.  And you don't even have to actually TALK to anyone at all (I totally have a thpeech imped-imped-impe-duh-ment, so I hate talking).  And if you just don't feel like interacting with someone, you can just ignore a text for hours.  Or days.  Or forever!  Not that I'd do that, but I like the option.

So then a few years ago, I was living at my mom's house, had very few bills, and was into spending money on things I didn't need.  So I bought some kinda (crappy by today's standard) smart phone.  Internet!  At my fingertips at all times!  On break at work!  On the shitter!  At a stop light!  Walking down the street!  And a full keyboard?!  And TOUCH SCREEN? *phonegasm*  It was the best.  Then I got an iPhone - The Holy Grail of phones (Android users, you just don't even know, so stfu) - and I made the decision that it was iPhone or no phone.  iPhones are the black of phones, and once you go black, you never go back.
Fast forward to me now:  semi-responsible, with a mortgage and bills (so broke), mothering, and enlightened about myself and my priorities... but most notably, broke, and with two really cute little girls to adorn.  I LOVE being able to take pictures of them wearing silly hats or going down a big slide (or the Fail Slide), but there's that whole broke thing going on still.  And there's also the fact that with being able to connect to the cyber world with such ease, and with me having no will power, sometimes it's too easy.  Too often I find myself saying "Oh Violet, how cute that you smashed blueberries all over your face!  Let me take a picture and upload it to facebook!  And since I'm on facebook I might as well check out everyone else's status updates.  Oh that reminds me of a funny story I have to tell about you!  Must update!  Hmmm, I should text Daddy about that too.  I wonder what Daddy wants for dinner tonight.  I'll just look up a recipe real quick!"  Half an hour later I finally realize Violet has left blueberry fingerprints all over the house, and blueberries are a bitch to clean up.

So here's the Pros and Cons of an iPhone:
  • Easy access to Facebook, Safari, YouTube, Email, apps
  • Pocket camera to capture the smiles of my children and embarassing photos of idiot people
  • GPS for when I'm lost in BFE, Baltimore, or for when I need to locate the nearest McDonald's because I'm too lazy make a real lunch
  • No pesky buttons to touch
  • Music player on the go (I never even used this feature, but like I said, I like options)
  • Part of the special club that only iPhone users get to be part of

  • I cannot resist its fancy screen-rotating and page-swiping sitting all alone in my back pocket
  • I don't pay enough attention to my children
  • I probably don't pay enough attention to my husband either
  • It costs the equivalent of 2-4 pieces of grown-up clothing a month, which I could desperately use because I am currently wearing a shirt I bought for $.98 in 2001 (Happy Decade Anniversary to my favorite shirt!!)
  • If it breaks I'm too poor to replace it
  • I'm ADD enough without it
  • Does anyone really care that much that Leela army crawled 3 feet?
  • A regular boring phone makes calls and texts just as well (ok, the text part is debatable)

So anyway.  That's why I'm considering just dropping down to a free brick phone with a few minutes a month and texting abilities so that I still don't have to actually talk to people.  It'll save us a ton of money and maybe I'll be participating in the mess-making with Violet more often instead of just cleaning it up.

Must Upload To Facebook NOW!

Plus then I can judge all the moms I see updating their facebook status on the playground, because that's what we moms do (judge, I mean).

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