I haven't posted in a while. The most interesting thing to happen to me the past week was losing my shoes and calling out of work as a result. Actually that whole thing had me really pissed off because my boss said to me "Kate. I literally have 70 pairs of shoes. You have ONE?" and I was all "Yeah lady, I'm poor, that's how I roll, blow me," and then I barefoot roundhoused her ass through the phone because I'm a teleninja. The other part of the whole thing that pissed me off is that literally two days before, I had a whole shit ton of shoes that I had been saving "just in case" and I had finally decided "just in case" wasn't coming. So then it came. So I'm officially never throwing anything away ever again.
Anyway, so somehow this next story is related but you wouldn't believe if you stopped after this paragraph. I was just talking at Joe about how I hadn't blogged in a while because I couldn't think of anything to say, and he wasn't paying attention of course and he's like "The guys at work were making fun of me the other day because I didn't know turkeys could fly." Wait. What? TURKEYS FLY?
Which brings me to this. Things I feel really dumb for never having known before. Some with video proof in case your dumbass didn't know either.
1. Turkeys fly. This just surprises me because those things are BIG. I figured they could do the ol' jump-and-fly-10-feet, but no, they actually FLY.
2. The average American woman owns 19 pairs of shoes. This search was prompted by my asshole boss. Not that I don't support a woman's right to own however the hell many shoes she wants, but I don't think I've owned 19 pairs of shoes in my whole life, muchless that many at once. What do you do with that many shoes???
3. You can make salisbury steak. I'm not sure what I thought salisbury steak was, but I always figured it was some kind of pre-chewed naturally occuring thing. Like scrapple and hot dogs. Uh, yeah. But apparently it's beef and pork and god knows what else combined.
4. Casey Kasem is still alive. Every single time I hear this guy on the radio I think "Holy crap, he's still alive?!" I swear he died like 15 years ago. Isn't he 110 now or something?
Honestly I can't even think of any of the really good examples of dumb stuff I didn't know, but I feel like almost every day I learn some sort of common knowledge and I'm like "wait, what?" and people look at me like I'm the stupidest person to ever breathe (like when I discovered white people are mutated black people). It's probably true sometimes. Oh, another thing is I didn't know human boobs make milk and that babies eat from them until I was like 15. WTF?